


These are the breaks

by KachansMassiveTiddies



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fish Puns, Humor, Interracial Relationship, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25988599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KachansMassiveTiddies/pseuds/KachansMassiveTiddies
Summary: Captured by Illumi you must deal with him and his deranged family while dodging his marriage proposal can you do it.If made the reader insert poc if you have a problem there's the door.
Relationships: Illumi Zoldyck/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	1. Announcement

Dont worry i havent forgot yall im just been busy with school and kinktober but im working on ky time management and getting ive rmy procrastination. Also if you don't mind please drop ideas, another reason why i haven't updated is because idk where to take this story and make it interesting for y'all.


	2. Rocka-Bye Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kinda got uninspired with this story so forgive me if it's short.

After finishing your own shower that you were pleased to announce had jets in the tub, you find yourself sitting cross-legged wondering what you could do since it was still late. You knew you couldn't try an escape because you watched Illumi lock the door, and as much as you would love to kick down the door and escape, you were positive that Illumi had informed his family or them damn butlers that you were not allowed to leave.

Next to the bed was a home phone, and even though you knew it was foolish to try to use you couldn't help but crawl over and lift it to your ears. When you heard the dial tone you quickly type in your mother's number. "Hello?" you heard her voice and it broke your heart to hear how cracked it was. On the bright side, that meant your uncle somehow made it. "Mommy?" you whined into your phone feeling the threat of tears behind your eyes. "Y/N?" you heard her yell forcing you to drag the phone away from your face in pain.

"WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU, DO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY JUST TO TAKE OFF AND NOT CALL AFTER A RAID!?" your mother yelled and you deadpanned. "Mommy it wasn't a raid it was an assassination!" the line was quite all you could hear was a slight movement then the familiar echo of you being put on speakerphone. "THAT'S EVEN WORSE YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU HAD NO TIME TO CALL AFTER ESCAPING AND ASSASSINATION!?" You sigh and wait for your mother to calm down trying to choose your words carefully. No matter how strong the Zoldycks were you don't think that you could escape a motherly ass whopping. 

"Mom I've been kidnapped." your mom scoffed, "By who please tell me who the hell kidnapped you because if it ain't Jesus I'm beating yo ass." You roll your eyes before catching yourself thinking she could see you. "Some guy named ILlumi Zoldyck." you say in a joking manner. The call was quiet and for a while and you thought your mother hung up on you. "Hello?" you jumped at the sound of your father's voice.

He may not have the base of morgan freeman but your father was a person to fear if you got on his bad side. "Hey, daddy-"

"DONT HEY DADDY ME YOU GOT CAUGHT BY A ZOLDYCK!?" suddenly you were hit with an onslaught of deja vu and you couldn't put your finger on why. "Hey, at least I was caught! His mission was to kill everyone there the only reason he's keeping me was that he's interested in my nen." you choke on your saliva when you realized you slipped up. "He's seen your nen?" 

You frantically try to explain yourself, "Y/N we aren't mad, you did what you had to do to stay alive and that is rule number 1." You nodded even though they couldn't see you, 'Well has he said what he's going to do with you?" you could hear your mother ask from far away. "Yeah he told his family that we're getting married, but don't worry I plan on escaping before then!" 

Almost immediately your parents yell NO! "Y/N this is a Zoldyck we are talking about girl! They re stacked you better make his pockets hurt!" your mom yelled before you heard the sound of her being pushed away by your father, "Y/N we want you to come home but realistically dear, do you really think he'll just let you escape?" You sighed 'no' and you felt a wave of tears threatening to fall. "Why can you guys do something, you're to Don of the New City mafia!" you whined sounding a bit bratty. "Y/N being the Don doesn't mean nothing going against a Zoldyck. It will take only one of them to wipe us out."

  
You already knew this but you were just hoping for a slither of hope. "Y/N just try to see if he will let you visit?" you hummed in thought, 'the bastards so sure of himself he probably would'."Okay I love you guy's I'll let you get some sleep." your parents bid their adieu leaving you alone once again. You look at the TV again and shrugged, "Well it doesn't hurt to try." you grab the remote and stood in front of the TV and press the power button, jumping as it roars to life volume on 90. You quickly turn it down and flip through the channels and to your surprise there is a direct TV link to heavens arena. 

You spend the next hour watching fight after fight through boredom. By 11 the phone rings, making you jump as you hesitantly walk over. "Hello?" you aksed doubting it was your parents again. "Hello Y/N." you heard the monotone voice of Illumi over the speaker, "Hello Y/N how are you doing?" he asked. It irked you very much that he was starting small talk as if he didn't kidnap you against your will. 

"Oh you know me Illumi, I just love staring at walls for hours!" there was shuffling for a while before Illumi came back, "I'm so glad to hear that I was assuming that it would be a hard transition but I'm glad it's smooth." You close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths in order to resist stepping on the phone. "he got to be fucking with me.'

"Anyway what are you up to fish eyes?" you ask balancing the phone between your shoulder and face as once of the butlers walked in with a juice box, a bag of chips, and a turkey sandwich. "Thanks, mom you mutter." unfortunately Illumi picked up on it and hummed in question. "I'm sure I bear no resemblance to your mother Y/N....or fish." You roll your eyes, "I'm not talking to you fish eyes. And you didn't answer my question!"

"Oh I am just extracting information from a client." there was a snap of something heard in the background. You ignored it, "Well I'm watching TV-" you were caught off by the sound of constant rocking on the phone. 'This bastard better not be doing what I think he's doing' you thought dryly. There was more shuffling over the phone and Illumi for once seemed a bit out of breath the rocking became more repetitive. "Illumi yo ass better be fighting a bear and not speaking to my while your balls deep in someone." you growl thoroughly done with this phone call. 

"While I would not use such vulgar words, I cannot deny that I am inside someone at the moment but I feel that they have no importance in our conversation." Illumi answered sounding confused and just as you were about to retort, loud and clear you heard, "ILLUMI!" and you promptly hung up the phone before sliding it under the bed to collect dust for the nearby future. "Gotta burn my ears off after that.


	3. Fertile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woo i got my inspiration back

It was the next day when Illumi came home and all night you had to force yourself to ignore the phone calls that came throughout the night. "Y/N I brought you breakfast." you could vaguely hear the monotone voice through your sleepy state. Sitting up you wipe your eyes and look around the room before finally taking in the food in front of you. You blink slowly as you take in the large egg in front of you. It was about 2 feet tall and larger than your own head with speckled spots all around it. "Illumi what the hell is this?" Illumi blinked at you, "A boiled egg, I heard it is popular among you people." he replies, taking out a spoon and whacking the top of the egg at light speed. All at once, the egg was made up of cracks before they all fell lightly around the egg itself. 

"You people? What does that mean" you glared at him, arms folded. Illumi looked at you blankly before closing his eyes and standing up, "Isn't it obvious? Americans." You looked at him for a while, questioning the life choices that lead up to this moment. "Are you going to eat this with me?" you asked poking the large food product with a fork provided by Illumi's brother from your last meal. Illumi shook his head, "No I ate two weeks ago I'm quite full." 

At this point, you didn't have any desire to question it as you pierced your egg with your fork eating it. You were surprised at the abundance of taste it held without having any noticeable sauce or seasoning on it. "This is amazing!" you said digging in the egg savoring every bite. Illumi took out a notepad and scribbled something down. "What's that?" you ask, eyes lighting up as you finally made it to the yolk. "Notes my mother gave to me in order to make you accept this family as your own. **Step 1:** Take them, easy enough.  **Step 2:** a way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Illumi looked up to you with what you could only guess to be pride.

"Did you just call me a man?" you asked blandly suddenly wanting to throw something at the skinwalker. "As far as I can see, you carry no masculine features but even if you did, my family has ways of making it work." Illumi says gesturing at the pins adorning his green vest. You internally shiver at the sight of them as you think back to the night you two met. "Why wouldn't you answer my calls?" Illumi asks, black eyes peering down at you as if they could swallow you whole. "Why did you call me while you were inside someone. Aren't I supposed to be your wife?" you questioned sarcastically licking your lips and setting the plate to the side. 

You had only finished about 1/8 of the egg but you felt as if your stomach would implode on itself. You jump as you see a pale hand planted on the bed next to you. You gaze up at Illumi as he looks down at you, seemingly to take in all your features. "Would you prefer I were inside you?" You squeal jumping up and out of the bed falling onto the floor. "Where did that come from!?" you yelled pointing an accusing finger at Illumi as he walked around the bed towards you. 

"Although I would prefer our lovemaking to be only when conceiving a child, I do not mind indulging in your fantasies." He says sliding a nail down the middle of his vest opening it up to reveal a green shirt underneath. "You stay right there slender man! Touch me and it's on sight!" you say wielding your fork as if it were a weapon. "Onsight? But I can see you just fine, are you perhaps blind?" You look at him with distaste as you stand up lazily throwing the fork in his direction. “You’re so weird.”

Illumi looked like a kicked puppy, “I don’t know what was strange, you chose to insinuate that you were jealous of me giving physical pleasure to another woman.” There was a knock on the door and a tall man with a mustache walked in. “What is it Gotoh?” Illumi asks, facing the man. Gotoh takes in your disheveled appearance and Illumi’s rare lack of that ugly ass jacket and smirks. “Look OG I don't know what you're thinking but that ain’t it.” you say rolling your eyes before walking into a closet to see what you could possibly wear. 

Illumi looks at you with an eyebrow raised, “What is an Oh Gii? Is it a term of endearment?” You look at Illumi for a while before giving him a thumbs-up, “Yeah totally.” Gotoh pushed his glasses up doing his best to contain his amusement. “Your mother and father request a meeting with you and your fiance.” Illumi nods and Gotoh takes his exit. 

You pull out an outfit that looks similar to what Illumi was wearing but instead of green it was red. “That'll work.” you mutter flinching as you feel arms wrap around your waist and you feel Illumi rest his head on your shoulder. “I am quite fond of you Oh Gee.” 

You have to close your eyes and take deep breaths in order to keep in the laughter threatening to exit your lips.

  
  


Much to Illumi’s outward displeasure yet obvious pleasure, you and him were wearing the same thing. Although his vest was tightly hugging your chest and the pants were getting ready to bust from your ass. You two walked down the corridor in silence as you took in the navy blue walls that adorned the hallways. “I mean, knowing what you people do I wasn't expecting to see any loving family photos but how do ya’ll not get depressed with all this nothingness.” Illumi gazes forward but pulls out a small parchment. “I prefer to carry family memories.” 

Illumi holds out a small photo to you. You look at it and it appears to be a child Illumi with his father in the woods. Ordinarily, this would be a sweet and endearing photo if not for the fact that Illumi was covered in blood splatter. “This was my first kill.” You quickly handed back the photo and chuckled awkwardly. “How cute a child murderer.” Illumi nodded, “Grandma thought so too.” 

You silently prayed that someone, anyone would come to get you from this nightmare.

Illumi opens the double doors and allows you to walk in first. The room was much more lively than the halls but still managed to not look out of place. The room was a deep orange with golds everywhere from the linen to very abstract paintings placed in gold frames.

Sitting on a large pillow was Illumi’s mother and if they had your way, your mother-in-law. Illumi’s father of course sat next to her, broad-chested and overall intimidating. “I bet his dick is small.” you mutter trying to ignore how fast Illumi turned his head to gaze at you. “Illumi my son, come, come, sit!’ The woman cried, throwing her arms in the air in a welcoming manner. Illumi sat down.

You continued to stand because there was no obvious pillow for you to sit on. “Umm.” you scratched the back of your head before walking close to Illumi to sit. “No need for you to sit my dear, you will be leaving soon anyway.” you raised your eyebrow at that and couldn’t help but feel a chill go down your back. “W-What does that mean sir?” you ask. To your left, a small man in a lab coat walked from behind a door holding a clipboard. “We are ready sir.” he says not looking at you the entire time

“Y/N can you please go with him.” Illumi orders not even giving room for objection. You put your hand on your hip slapping away the hand the little man offered to you. “Like hell, I’m just going with Dr. Frankenstein over here without having any information!” Illumi sighed, having the audacity to look embarrassed. “You chose yourself a feisty one, my son.” Silva chuckled looking at you with a gleam in his eyes that made you thoroughly uncomfortable.”Illumi!” you warned, tapping your foot on the carpet. “More like obnoxious.” you could hear Kikyo mutter but you were too pressed with Illumi to care.

“It is understandable Illumi, I’m sure she would be more comfortable with her husband present during the examination.” You tapped your foot faster, getting anxious at the words 'examination.' 

After a long pause, Illumi get’s up and follows you into the next room. This room was ordinarily dull. The floor was hardwood but the walls seemed to be adorned with expensive fabrics. “Miss if you will, can you roll up your shirt so I can draw blood.” You jerk your head at Illumi who simply looked blankly at you. 

Seeing no other choice you roll up your sleeve but before the doctor could put the needle within you, you freaked out and stopped him before holding your hand out to Illumi. Illumi looked at your hand before recognition set in his eyes. He leaned forward and gave you a high-five. “My brother Killua taught me that.” You put a tight smile on your face before reaching over and grabbing the nearest object and throwing it at Illumi’s head satisfied as it hits him square in the jaw.

“No dumbass, hold my hand.” you responded. Illumi opened his mouth to say something but decided against it before taking your hand into his. Illumi’s hands were unsurprisingly cold considering how pale he was. The fingers were thin, long, and too delicate to belong to someone that takes lives for a living. You couldn’t quite help but laugh at how your skin tones concentrated so drastically, it was almost comical.

Before you knew it the blood work was done but you still didn’t let go of Illumi’s hand fearing what was to come next. “Please take off your clothes.” You Look at the doctor for a second before slowly sliding out of the chair and bolting for the door. Before you could make it you feel the neck of your vest being jerked back. “Don’t make this difficult please.” Illumi sighed. 

“Hey you're not the one being asked to strip in a strange place.” Illumi shook his head, “Would you like it if I striped you instead of the doctor?” You smacked him on the back of his head, “No with your weird-ass!” 

In the end, you kicked Illumi outside and found yourself propped up in a chair as the doctor took swabs in your cooter much to your discomfort. Illumi comes back in by the time you finally put your pants on and you follow him and the doctor back to the original room. 

“How did it go doctor?” Silva asks and as you come closer you notice a large pillow sat out for you. “I’ll have you know my findings are quite peculiar. This woman seems to be a second nen ability within her but it’s dormant. This only happens with twins when one consumes the other.” You knew this fact, your momma always joked about how you were so hungry as a child that you ate your sister. “And what else.” Kikyo said, opening a hand fan impatient. “Is the girl barren and therefore of no use to us?!” 

“Oh you won’t have to worry about Illumi’s ability to produce children, this woman is extremely fertile. In fact, I’m sure all it would take would be one time. There is also a high chance they could produce a white-haired offspring.” Your eyes widened, Kids? What the hell are they talking about, it’s been 3 days do you not get a got damn orientation? Silva held his chin in thought, “Though I do not doubt Killua’s loyalty, it’s always good to have a backup.” 

You stood up and headed out the door as fast as you could, fists clenched. “Back up my ass, I ain’t having no brat with any of you people!” You walk down the hall, having no intention in mind highly doubting that you could make it to any exit without this damned family allowing you to. “Who the hell are you?” You hear a voice down the hall coming from a small boy with white hair.  _ ‘This must be Killua.” _ You thought as you continued to walk past him, “A bad bitch who doesn't need no weird-ass fish-eyed man.”

Before you take another step, you hear a loud sound coming towards you, “Get out of the way!” Killua said, pushing you against the wall. There is a loud crack then footsteps, “Hello Killua.” You heard Illumi’s monotone voice say as he comes to be in front of you. Reaching above your head, Illumi picks out one of his pins from the wall behind you. “The hell was that Illumi!’ both you and Killua yell out, pointing an accusatory finger at the man in question.

“I see you’ve met my bride.” Illumi continues ignoring the situation. “It was good to see you again, finally tired of your ‘friend’?” Killua scoffed, “No, I’m here because dad called me.” he shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets and walking away, “Hey!” you look up at Killua who had his hand raised in a wave, “Sorry for your loss.”

Illumi crowds you back into your shared room with more force than necessary. “Hey watch it!” you snap shaking your shoulder out of his grip. “You embarrassed me in front of my mother.” He replied blandly. You roll your eyes, “Well sorry for you pretty boy, but I have bigger fish to fry.” Illumi looked around the room slowly, “I swear to god if you say-” “What fish?” You groan plopping on the bed burying your face into the sheets. 

In your own world, you ignore the feeling of the bed sink, but you do not ignore the crotched pressed into your ass. “What in the hell do you think your doing nigga?!’ you say not in the mood whatsoever. “What is a ni-” you swing your hand behind you and attempt to slap Illumi in the face only for him to grab it and press it into the sheets above you. You begin to feel uneasy, “What are you doing fish eyes!?” You attempt to lift your hips but he secured them with his own. “Considering the results, I say that now is a perfect time to start consummating.


	4. Ch 4

A small drop in your stomach was noticed as Illumi's dead eyes looked down at you. You knew you were definitely not stronger than him but you'll be damned if you let the slimy bastard pop a baby in you.

"Illumi, you've got five seconds to get off of me." A dark grin overcame Illumi's face and that scared you more than the silence. You flinch as he raises his sharp nail to your cheek and drags it down your face. "In the end resistance is futile. If I wanted, I could render you helpless with one of my pins."

As if to prove a point, you find yourself with said pin positioned just below your chin. Not hard enough to cut but with just enough pressure to be wary of.

"So why not just do it?"

Illumi methodically ran the needle down your skin, subsequently slicing through the collar of three shirt you were wearing. "I find that it would be better to have you willingly submit to me without harmful persuasion."

"Well that's not happening now is it?" You flinch as the pin breaks skin and you faintly feel something slowly roll to the side of your shoulders blades. Illumi dips his head and follows the trail with his tongue.

_What the hell, what the hell_

A small beeping cut through the silence in the room and Illumi sighed as he sat up. From a breast pocket he pulls out a phone and answers as he gets off of you.

When he was a good distance away, you quickly draw your legs up to yourself and roughly rub where his tongue previously was. Your hand had faint streaks of red painting it. _What the hell is wrong with these people?_ Finishing his call, Illumi walks back over to you and sits on the bed.

You look at him with wide eyes and tense your muscles preparing for anything that could possibly happen. "I've received a new client that I must tend to immediately." "What does that have to do with me?" This conversation needed to be over as quickly as possible for your sake.

Illumi tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear before continuing. "This may be a lengthy job so I want you to come with me." You're shaking your head before he even finished, "I'm just fine here."

"You may feel that way but I have already wasted enough time from my last one. Since your aren't won over so easily, I will use this as bonding." You roll your eyes, "Oh yeah great honeymoon idea, our first kill how romantic."

Illumi leans towards you, eyes widening even more so. "So does that mean you've accepted my proposal?"

"Hell no."

"Ah I see."

You stand up and walk around the bed, Illumi watches you look out the window. "I want to go home." "I'm afraid I can't do that." You clench your fists sightly before softening your face. "Please? Just for a little while then I'll come back."

Illumi's silent and for a moment and you think he's ignoring you. From your peripheral vision, you see him come to stand next to you. "If you come with me on my mission I will consider taking you."

You sigh, _'better than nothing'_ "That sounds 'great'"

You turn away from the window and head to the bathroom, desperate for some personal space. Your arm is jerked back and you find yourself stumbling into Illumi's chest. Illumi looks forward, not making eye contact.

"I have one more request." You frown, "That wouldn't be a very even trade if you ask me." Illumi looks down at you and suddenly you become self conscious. "I request that I am allowed to kiss you."

_The fuck?!._

"You sure you don't want anything else?! A cookie?!" Illumi shakes his head simultaneously drawing his long hair to the front of his face.

In your head you knew that this was most likely not a good idea. _Isn't this how Stockholm syndrome starts?!_

 _"_ Fine"

You try to move again only for Illumi's grip on your arm tightens and he looks at you expectantly. You scrunch your face, "Now?!"

……

Rolling your eyes your stand a bit on your tippytoes but still come up short. "If you want a kiss you're gonna have to bend your 7,12 ass down for me." Illumi does as you ask and your hesitantly press your lips against his.

It's a lifeless kiss and can only be described as a peck. It wasn't until you opened your eyes to realise that the creepy bastard was looking back at you, unblinking.

_We gon have to work on that_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not alot just want to remind y'all I didn't die


	5. Ch5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the reader that let me know that I in fact posted chapter 4, 4 times. How that happened I can’t tell you. This story, you can say, is a bit of a gift to them for not letting me look goofy.

Driving with Illumi was a punishment that you wouldn’t even give to your worst enemy. He played no music and the piercing gaze he gave you when you tried to put some on was rather confusing. “If you want to listen to the radio that will cost a kiss.” 

His smooch requests were getting out of hand as well. You had to give him one when you were two seconds from peeing on yourself. 

You gazed tiredly out the car window, watching as the trees zoomed by in an endless forest. You wished something in there would come to swallow you up. Nothing too brutal, just put you out of your misery.

***pop***

In less than a split second you find yourself airborne and flying through breaking glass. Something had hit the car. 

Your body was in shock as you lifelessly hit a nearby tree. “Ow..” Illumi is quick to come to your side. He didn’t offer you help, or even as if you were okay. He just stood there next to you as you twitched in pain.

“Something hit us.” “WORD ILLUMI WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED!?” You sighed trying to calm yourself down. “Sorry, pain makes me react violently.” Illumi doesn’t make any obvious acknowledgment but quickly grabs your hand when you stand. 

It may have been his inexperience with human contact or concern for our assailant, but you’ve never had your hand gripped as tightly in that moment. “What’s wrong?” you watched Illumi stand mostly still as his trained eye scand the dark bushes. 

Chuckling was heard to your left and you are yanked behind Illumi as he swings his long legs into some kind of monster. The thing was obnoxiously large, the simple force of it hitting the tree from Illumi’s kick made it obvious. But it was familiar, “I don’t enjoy close confrontation, especially with baggage.”

You immediately realise that you are said baggage and scoff. “Are you kidding me, it’s a dog!” The thing stands once again and you stand in front of Illumi as it comes bounding towards you. “What are you doing?” “Relax, we got these at home.”

To the random eye, you were most definitely going to die. But hearing this kind of laugh was extremely common back home to the point they became kept as pets once everyone realised there were too many to avoid. While its fur was a completely different color pallet and it was smaller than the ones at home, you hoped the same tactics worked.

The thing was two feet ahead of you and you could almost feel the way Illumi was tensing. “The thing is, you have to get the time just right.” “Time wha-” The creature swiped at you and you jumped up as high as you could so you could land on its paw. “It’s a Dread Lynx.” You lean towards its face ignoring it’s owl-like eyes looking down at you.

Taking your index finger and thumb, you thump it’s wet nose and watch it howl in pain. You roll off of it in order to not get crushed by it’s tantrum. “These things soak up violent attacks but are weak to something as simple as a pinch. Easy to tame, hard to discourage so we better start going before it tries again. Don't want to get stuck in a pain loop.”

You skip past Illumi, triumphant that you left him at least a little bit stumped. The small smile was maintained on your face even when you came to your toppled vehicle. “The property damage is always the worst part with Lynx’s.” you shook your head. The force of the creature's head butting was enough to eject you out of your seat, but it was also enough to cause cars to crumple like soda cans.

You are forced to walk along the road, open to many elements as cars and unnamed ‘things’ went past you. Illumi walked in front of you in a calmed manner that discouraged you from trying to run _. I bet if I tried he’d be behind me immediately._

The sun was ruthless and your feet hurt in the borderline church shoes you had to wear. The plan was to lose him when you came across a large crowd, but the way things were going the first order of business was to find some comfortable shoes besides these Kirk Franklin 30’s you were wearing at the moment. 

“Illumi how old are you again?” Illumi stops walking and allows you to catch up so you can walk near each other. “24” You nodded, “Elderly, I see.” You weren't sure how it worked but you could feel his offense. “I’m sure you are not that far from my age.” You gasped mockingly, “Shame on you for not checking, what if I was underaged!?”

“I would have waited of course.” Your face scrunched up in disdain. “That’s a little creepy.” Illumi looks at you for the first time since the car flipped. “A colleague of mine does it.” Somehow you knew the clown was involved. “That doesn’t make it less weird.”


	6. Chapter 6

It was a long while before either of you came upon any human life. The heavy sun beating down on your skin didn’t make room for small talk. That fact was dampened even more as Illumi only seemed to thrive in the warm environment. 

His ebony hair had become slicked with a thin layer of sweat sticking beautifully to the sides of his face. You on the other hand, had long since removed half of your outfit leaving yourself in a worn sports bra with only Illumi’s vest providing you with decency.

“Can we just rest a little bit?” You bend over with your hands propped on your knees. “There’s a shack just up ahead.” Looking up, you groan at the sight of a wooden house to the left of you. It was hidden between broken trees and foliage. Not only that but it wasn’t even on the damn highway!

“Illumi, it’s not even in the direction we’re going.” Illumi ignores you and continues to walk off the path. “Actually it is. I wasn’t given a specific location, but I do know it’s around here” The feeling of annoyance fills your mind but you bruhs it off, dragging behind him.

Upon closer inspection, the “shack” was just an old abandoned cabin that had caved in on the side. You haphazardly kick a nearby log, scrunching your face with disgust as a centipede crawls from underneath. Illumi said nothing but stood still in front of the opened cabin door.

Nearby trees cast ghostly shadows against the rotting wood. There was a faint hiss coming from all directions mostly from nearby insects. All in all the environment made you itch more than your sweat ever did. “Hey, if nothing is here let’s leave.” 

Illumi’s blank eyes shot near you and he pointed his finger towards you. “Move.” Raising an eyebrow you turn around only to see nothing. “What are you talking abou-” a large snap arises from above you before a large tree branch lands right beside you forcing a trilled scream from your lips. “WHAT THE HELL!?”

Childish laughter rings from above echoing off nearby trees. “I didn’t expect a Zoldyck to be here.” Your eyes darted above you but there was no source of the voice. “Lalar. The ruffling of fabric fills your ears and a warm presence forms behind you. “Aww Illumi, you wound me! You didn’t send flowers or postcards?!”

A metallic click is heard before you feel something cool against your neck. Blood trickles down your neck from a small nick. Illumi’s face remained neutral as he watched the red streak roll down the valley of your exposed breasts. “Hope you don’t mind Ilulu, but due to our less than friendly departure last time, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take your little friend here as collateral.”

There was no visible change but you could faintly taste something chalky in the air as Illumi’s deadpanned gaze seemed to harden. “Oh what a scary look. Now tell me what you want.” Illumi shifted his weight as he spoke. “Haijima has another one.” 

The person behind you groaned, “Another, that man seriously needs a hobby.” You try to turn your head slowly to look behind you but the effort is useless as the knife is pressed closer to your neck. “It’s a small organization banning together to sue him.” The man hummed in thought. “They must have got enough on the bastard if he wants you to handle it.” 

Illumi rolled his shoulders, “I wouldn’t normally do this kind of job but the pay is good.” While the two conversed, you contemplated the idea that maybe you had become invisible cause there was no way in hell that they were having a normal conversation as if you weren’t just fearing for his life. “Um, excuse me.”

“I mean it’s as if the man doesn’t understand proper money management.” “Excuse me.” “I do agree that his professionalism is indeed lacking.” You could feel your blood pressure slowly rising.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if I should make this a story telling me what you think.


End file.
